well…

I can definitely say that lately my life has been a bit of a roller coaster–a lot like the Mind-Eraser actually (not that I’ve been on it, but I don’t think I have to ride it to know that it’s pretty much insane). I don’t want to say that my life is horrible right now, because it’s far from that, but I do want to admit that I feel horrible at times because of some things that are going on.

Of course you all know that I decided to quit my job–my last day is this Saturday and it’s a bittersweet feeling 😦 :)–because it just was not working out for me, and for the time I want to spend with Sophia during her first year. I’m currently jobless and as much as I extremely do not want to I’m on a job hunt. I wish so badly I could just have the occupation of being a “Stay-At-Home-Mom”, I want nothing more than that title. Unfortunately, my fiancé is uncomfortable with the idea of me not working… so, I’m just trying to get over my feelings about this whole subject, and make him as happy as he makes me. I understand that “money doesn’t grow on trees”… ugh, I’ve always hated that phrase, and I do realize that it’d be impossible to live with just one income, but I need to be with Sophia… I know you all have heard this plenty of times. So… I’ll stop there. Next.

I’m also just a little flustered being here… home… in Maryland. I just need a little break from it all. I miss my Mom and my family in Georgia. I’ve been looking for flights, to ATL, but the prices are just so damn expensive! Which proves why I should be working I guess…………. *sighs*

I mean now that I’m expressing my feelings, I want to say that maybe the reason why I feel so horrible is because of this whole work situation and leaving Sophia for 8+ hours of the day. There’s nothing else in my life I could possibly complain about. So… maybe because I quit my job and have all this time to find a new one, I can use it to leave for a while (with Sophia of course). Maybe the reason I feel that my life is so crazy (Mind-Eraser crazy) is because how strongly I feel towards working right now. I find myself extremely content with my life, and then I think about going back to work and all of those feelings get thrown around everywhere… jerking side to side, and flipping upside down… which leads me to feel so down. I just want to avoid those negative feelings, so I’ll keep myself distracted. Hopefully, going to Atlanta will help. 

Well… until next time.

Xs & Os

Sophelys

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