I’m sure we’ve all heard and even rolled our eyes every time we heard that phrase. Whether you heard it from your own mother, or from another mother, or from any other person, it usually came out when one, the mom is obviously proud, or two, we wanted to give our opinion. Sometimes we feel like we are doing the right thing by sharing our thoughts on what a mother should do in any situation which honestly, isn’t always the best idea.
well maybe if you held her this way.
maybe she wants ___.
maybe she likes ___.
maybe she rather you did ___.
I’ll admit, I used to do it too. I wasn’t even a mom and swore I knew or had the right to suggest to a mother anything that came to mind. I look back now and how was I not slapped across the face? Whether the intentions are good or not, it is the MOST annoying thing I have dealt with as a mom. Maybe it’s the approach, sometimes people just feel like they can say whatever pops in their head without thinking it through, which most of the time sounds more like a demand rather than a suggestion. Its pretty offensive when a person who is not the mother of your child feels as if they know your child. No, You don’t know my daughter… I know my daughter. I am Sophia’s mother and I know why she’s fussing, I know how to rock her (if she even needs to be rocked (I’ve gotten her to put herself to sleep *pats self on the back*)), I know when she’s hungry, I know when playtime is over… and so on, you get the point. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes I do need the advice. Sometimes it’s nice to hear another persons opinion on something I’m unsure of in motherhood; but most of the time it is the most aggravating thing-ever. Yes, I’d rather people wait until maybe I’ve asked for advice on my next move, and yes I’d rather some people really think twice before they think about telling me what my daughter may or may not want or need. Maybe I’m stubborn and a little overdramatic, but I know I’m not the only mama who gets this way. It drives us nuts! Especially if you’re not even a mother… now that is just plain absurd. How in your “right mind” do you feel like you even have a say? Haha!
Now friends… please do not get upset off this. I appreciate you all and all that you have either said or done for me throughout my journey as a mother so far. But I just have to be honest, and honesty hurts sometimes. And no, I am not saying that I don’t want to hear anything involving the way I raise my daughter… well, kind of but not in such a scary way. I am not saying that you have to watch what you say around me… sometimes a mama has to be put on check too, just be polite about it. Feel free to speak, but please don’t be surprised if I come back with a sarcastic attitude if you’re telling me something completely obvious or if it may be something I don’t agree with. Also… let’s all just try to remember: when a mother says or is doing something for their child it’s because they know what they are doing. I go through this with my fiance all the time, it’s a bit more funny than it is frustrating but seriously don’t think it’s just the outsiders–outsiders as in you who are not in the mommy-club– that challenge the acts of mommies. I’ll tell him one thing, he’ll do another, Sophia will fuss and fuss, and I always say the same thing:
Do you think I tell you things just to hear myself talk? I know what I’m talking about.
Seriously, it’s hilarious. He will then do what I had suggested in the first place and BAM! Sophia’s goooooood. (Sorry hubba, but mama does know best–get it through your head).
Please, please, please don’t think that it’s only the “outsiders” and the fathers either, because there are other mothers out there that tend to forget about all of this and do the exact same thing, but worse! Let’s just try to keep in mind that the way you may be raising your child, may or may not be the way I want to raise mine. Mommys judge other mommys. It happens all the time. From what brand of diapers or wipes they’re using, to whether the mother is breastfeeding or has their baby on formula, to whether they buy already made baby food (such as Gerber) or make their own food at home. There’s tons more, trust me. It’s normal though of course, we all think our way is the “best” way. But please, don’t shove what you think is best to do down my throat. I will never tell someone if what they’re doing to their baby is right or wrong, unless of course I feel that the baby is in harms way (that obviously goes for everyone). I think as mothers, we should all understand where the line is… and when we are close to crossing it just take a bout 10 steps back. All mothers know best, and by that I mean that all mothers know best for their OWN children. Wouldn’t you agree?
I hope that I am not coming off as rude or angry or upset. This is something I’ve felt strongly about since the day I had Sophia. I’ve also been meaning to write about it, but never know how to begin. I want to clarify that this is more of a rant rather than a well thought out post. Haha!
On a sidenote: I do want to thank all those who have supported me and helped guide me through this beautiful experience of being a mother. Although I just made it seem like I completely do not need or want the help, that was not my intention. I know that I have a lot of learning to do, and I know I will make mistakes, but I also know that I have many fellow mommys and even friends and family to support me and always be there for me. So thank you all. Kisses! ❤
X’s & O’S